antibogon: The Word (Genesis)

The Book of Genesis

1:2 And computers heretofore were without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the users. And the Spirit of God moved upon the bits of the ether.

1:3 And God said, "Let there be light," and behold, there was NeXTstep.

1:4 And God saw the NeXTstep, that it was good: and God divided the object layer from the core operating system.

1:5 And God called the open API OpenStep, and the OS He called MachOS. And the open object API and the core OS were the first non-bogus system. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

1:6 And God said, "Let there be a choice in the midst of the hardware, and let it divide the slow from the fast."

1:7And God made the proper abstractions, and divided the APIs which were under the kernel from the APIs which were above the kernel and it was so.

1:8 And God called the proper abstractions OPENSTEP for Intel, SPARC, PA-RISC, and m68k. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

1:9 And God said, "Let the APIs under the OPENSTEP be gathered together unto one place, and let the portable object layer appear on other OS," and it was so.

1:10 And God called the system OPENSTEP for MachOS, and the gathering together of the portable object layers called he OPENSTEP for Solaris, and OPENSTEP Enterprise for Windows; and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the third day.

1:11 And God said, "Let the valley bring forth developers, the API yielding mission-critical custom applications, and the portable object layer yielding mission-critical custom applications which run on multiple OS, whose seed is unto itself, upon the valley," and it was so.

1:12 And the valley brought forth developers, and API yielding mission-critical custom applications, and the portable object layer yielding applications which run on multiple OS, whose seed was unto itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

1:13 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

1:14 Then God said, "Let there be a Web in the firmament of the ether to divide the network from the desktop; and let it be for URLs and domains, and for WebObjects and for OpenStep;

1:15 "and let them be for web applications and for mission-critical custom applications, to give light to the users"; and it was so.

1:16 Then God made two great APIs; WebObjects to rule the Web, and OpenStep to rule the desktop. He made Enterprise Objects Framework, also, to bind the behavior of the objects of the heavens with the databases of the earth.

1:17 God set them in the firmament of the Web and the desktop to give light to the users

1:18 and to rule over the Web and over the desktop, and to divide the network from the desktop. And God saw that it was good.

1:19 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

1:20 Then God said, "Let the Web abound with domains and URLs and E-commerce, and let developers fly above the Web of Heaven with E-commerce applications." And it was so.

1:21 And God saw that it was very good.

1:22 And God said, "Let Us remake the land of Apple in Our image, according to Our likeness. And let OpenStep and WebObjects have dominion over the land, over the ancient Mac OS and over the ToolBox. Let Apple have dominion over the entire firmament."

1:23 And God remade Apple in His own image, according to His own likeness. In His own image of God did He remake Apple. Through WebObjects and OpenStep He remade it.

1:24 And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

2:1 Thus, the Web and the desktop and all the host of them, were finished in the remaking.

2:2 And on the seventh day, God ended His work which He had done, and He rested for one day before He created the iMac.

...

6:17 And God spake to the priests, "Behold, I, even I, doth bringeth a rain of change upon the land of Apple, to destroy all flesh which has the breath of life from under Heaven; and every thing that is rotten in the land of Apple shall perish.

6:18 But with thee will I establish My covenant; and thou shalt come unto the OS of the Rhapsody, yea, thou, and thy MacOS applications, and thy OpenStep applications, and thy UNIX applications with thee.

6:19 And of every living ISV, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the OS of the Rhapsody, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be BlueBox and YellowBox.

6:20 Of MacOS applications after their kind, and of OpenStep applications after their kind, of every creeping thing of the starving ISV after his kind, two of every sort shalt come unto thee, to keep them alive.

6:21 And take unto thyself all the code that is written, and thou shalt gather it unto thyself; and it shall be for life for thee, and for them."

6:22 Thus the priests did; according to all that the Lord GOD commanded them; so they did.

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