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  • The Secret Diary of Dan Lyons

    July 28th, 2008 · 2 Comments

    Here’s an interesting exercise. Imagine if Dan Lyons was interesting enough that somebody would make a fake Dan Lyons blog. Today’s entry might be something like this…

    Dear Diary,

    Today I stepped on my dick. You would be amazed at how difficult that was to do, since it’s not really like it drags on the ground or anything. I’m not particularly flexible, either. I had to have an embarrassing amount of help from Joe Nocera, and now my knee and hip hurt as much as my unit. Oh, and both of my elbows.

    Imagine if any other CEO pulled bullshit like this

    Then some people saw me stepping on my dick and some of them said, “Hey, Dan, don’t step on your dick! That’s not very bright!” Well, even though it hurt me, more than I care to admit, I didn’t care to admit it. A little voice inside me said, “blame them for stepping on your dick! That will show them!” So I kicked myself in my testicles. That was easier to do, what with my ligaments already stretched out from stepping on my dick.

    The culture of enablers

    Then I started posting like a mad fool to get it off the front page of my blog. Get this… 7 other posts today.

    Diary, I fear my secret is out!

    What secret might Dan Lyons be sharing with only his Diary? Well, perhaps that Dan Lyons was either on the take from SCO for years, or so lazy and poor at actually analyzing the industry he writes about that he simply parroted SCO rather than report in any rational or objective way about SCO’s Microsoft-funded shenanigans. Or perhaps that he has a history of similarly slanted reporting where Apple (against) or MIcrosoft (for) is concerned.

    Daniel Eran Dilger was criticized when this piece (Forbes’ Fake Steve Jobs is also Fake on Apple) came out, but it looks like didn’t miss the mark on Dan Lyons’ true nature by much.

    Tags: Apple

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